Sunday, August 9, 2015

Time to get with the program...

The time has come to get with the program.  I'm sick to death of staying home, the "brain damaged" girl and not living my life.  So what if I'm on my own!  Woo hoo!  Men are highly over rated anyhow.

My boss, who basically just said take 6 months leave; do something that you like, that you always wanted to do!  Your job will be here.

And so now my brain is in overdrive.

What did I always want to do..?

I wanted to travel, but I have to hang on the every cent I make for fear of ...  I don't know what, but it worries me!  I want a house; more than anything else at the moment!  I'm drawing up what it is going to look like.  Well drawing it up in some pre-school fashion lol.  Making notes in my phone such as "red splashback"; and a whole lot of meaningless stuff such as that.

Trouble is, I can't afford a house.  Well not yet.  And I don't want to buy one until I can move and live in it; revel in the fact that I've got a house.  Do the gardening...  walk the dog that I don't have at the moment!  I never really even wanted a dog!  They smell....  Or I thought they did.  Now I see that the dog and I will live a blissful life down the coast.  Walking the beach; riding to where ever we go!

And this is the thing that people don't see.  I'm different.  I can't even say mellow.  I'm changed; altered.  I haven't lost my temper since waking in the hospital and not knowing my name.  I'm not longer judgmental; about everything and everyone.  I don't see and feel jealous, or hate; instead I look and wonder about everybody.  People I wouldn't have given a shit about!  Fat, thin, ugly, beautiful people - all have something!

If I wasn't brain damaged, didn't have this inability to think straight, I think I would be very happy with the person I've become.